Let's start at the very beginning. So I get an email at work to my work email from someone saying, "know anybody who wants to adopt these 2 labs?" I think "no." I was CC'd on it and it went to a few people. I did forward it to my friend Leigh to look at the pictures, and that is it. It went no further by my hand. So how am I now cursing these dogs, you ask?
I get 2 emails later that day with phone numbers of people interested. I thought that they just did a reply all and thought, "what a dumbass. Like I want to see this." If I only knew...
Well, the message was one that really went right for the heartstrings. I didn't see this until later when it was forwarded to me with a request for the dogs. It had been circulating with the following message, and 2 really cute pictures of the supposed dogs (see 1 example below):
2 Black Labs need home ASAP
The owner of these 2 beautiful labs has terminal cancer and can't care for them anymore. He is heartbroken and hopes to find a family for them while he is still able. These boys are 4 years old and have been raised together and he would like very much to find a home who can take them both so they can stay together.
Details: Two beautiful 4 year old purebred male Black Labs, Hunter and Fame, both neutered. They are truly wonderful dogs. The owner's grandchildren can crawl all over them and like a typical lab; they just lay there and love it. Both are up to date on their shots, housebroken and very well behaved. He would love to keep these two boys together if possible as they were raised together and are the best of friends. If you know anyone for these two pups or if you are interested in them, please contact ME@mygoddamnworkemail.
The next day, I got 20. I realized that for some reason, I was listed as the main contact for anybody interested in adopting these dogs. They emails start coming in at a phenomenal rate. I am totally at a loss; what do I do? They were multiplying exponentially. Finally, I found out that the supposed dogs (I still doubt their existance, but Do is convinced they were just adopted on January 23) have been adopted. I compose a simple email I can copy and paste in all message I get. I am trying to head this thing off at the pass. Most people were very nice, one woman told me I was "an angel for trying to help those dogs and that poor man!"
One of the people I wrote back to I included the "I have no idea how this happened and spread so fast" sentence. And she said, "I know! I got it from 2 people AND saw it posted at church!" WHAT??
They start showing up hundreds at a time. My inbox never stops dinging. All day. After a week, I call the help desk. The guy didn't even see the humor in the whole thing. He was all, "Why would you use your work email to adopt out 2 dogs?" I kept saying, "I DON'T HAVE ANY DOGS! I KNOW NOTHING!" And still, his accusatory tone. Finally we try to set up rules. I kept saying, "But Entourage doesn't work properly with Macs." But he was sure it would work. Nothing. No improvement. I call my I.T. guy Monday and beg for help. (He, at least, has a sense of humor and is very nice.) We tried going to postini, trying to get more messages "quarantined." There was no way to set up rules about subject/text there. We could have changed the few options, but (luckily) I wasn't getting any sexually explicit, racially insensitive, or get rich quick dog emails. So it was no use to me. I asked, "but why are the rules not working? WHY?" And I got: "Because Entourage sucks. Everybody hates it. With our Macs, nothing works quite right with this program." Cool. No options.
I go home and inspiration hits me: I log into my Webmail from my PC (I know, I'm a user of both; I should feel shame). I set up the rules there. It seems to work! . . . But just a little. I am still getting about 1/5 of the emails that somehow sneak past the rules. Still better than before!
I set it up to send all of these messages straight to the deleted folder. Yes, I do feel guilty--but really, can you blame me for having my fill of this?? It was out of control!
Friday I go to lunch and am telling some friends the story. We laugh about it . . . then I get back to work and had TWO VOICE MAILS from dog people. Yes, voice mails. Not clear how. Not sure why. Not exactly sure who really has enough time to hunt somebody down for 2 dogs, but whatever. I guess some jobs are low-stress. Needless to say, I don't call back. The last thing I need to do after receiving over 1,000 non-work related emails at work is start making long-distance calls.
I talk to my boss, who finds this the most hilarious and horrific thing at the same time. She can't stop laughing (especially the bit about church), but agrees that I need a new work email.
My friends all look on the internet; I am posted on blogs, radio station web sites, a realtor's site, craigslist in CHICAGO-area (still not clear as to how almost all of these things are in the midwest; I am clearly not). It has grown far out of control, and is one of those things that will never stop. No date; touching story. I am screwed. In fact, there are several people out there from North Carolina, Colorado, and even more places that seem to have their emails listed for the SAME story.
I get in to work today and there, as the first email, is one about the dogs. Over the weekend I only got about 100; it seems to slow down when people aren't at work. Maybe 10 made it to my inbox. This one happens to be the first. So I happen to see it in the preview window.
"Re: Since you're not going to reply and neither are your friends who forwarded your message to other states"
I know I shouldn't have read it. I KNOW that I should have clicked them all straight to the deleted folder. But I have been dealing with this for TWO WEEKS and having some midwestern BITCH give me attitude was the last straw. So I read on.
"You might want to add what state you're in when advertising something over email and sending it to friends who don't use discretion about who they're sending it to. I continue to get phone calls about these dogs, and I'm in INDIANA!!! I'm sure your ad is STILL being forwarded around."
Am I just being sensitive? I mean, first-thing on Monday morning to see this after two weeks of pure FUCKING HELL about these dogs probably wasn't a good combination. I don't like Mondays as it is. I didn't want to wake up on President's Day, when most of my friends and family were on vacation. And I come in to that? Hmm. I decide to just go to the kitchen for my coffee. Maybe I just need the coffee. Maybe I can take some deep breaths and calm down. But no; I get more agitated the more I think about this. Giving ME attitude? Seriously? So I answer:
"I have nothing to do with this. This is NOT MY AD. Some idiot put my WORK EMAIL as the main contact when I was only CC'd on it. So maybe YOU may want to do some online research before sending a nasty email about not responding. It took me 2 seconds to look on google and see that this has happened all over the country with different emails. Apparently you were after the initial FIVE HUNDRED responses, which I did answer.
I'm sure it's STILL being forwarded too, and have to change my work email address because of this. But it's always nice to see emails like this when I get in on Monday morning."
I feel a little better; and yet, unreasonable. Why do I feel so guilty about not just taking it anymore? Not sure; maybe that is for another day's blog and much more therapy. But I do feel bad. But I think this is the woman who left me a voice mail. Not that I really listened to the whole thing; I deleted it and stared at my phone in horror, picturing what happened with the email happening with the phone. (And my company is too cheap to give me a phone with caller ID.) But she emails me, leaves me a message about how I'm not calling back, and THEN sends me this (what I deem to be) nasty email? I couldn't just take it!
So now I'm the dog bitch. The one who doesn't give a shit that some poor fool is dying of cancer and just wants to find a new home for these animals. I am the evil girl in New York who is destroying any chance of them finding a new home. (Except that they already did . . . if they ever even existed.)
I go back to my boss and say, "please, can we change my email today? I can't handle all this." She calls the help desk, and we get the nasty guy again. He not only gives her attitude, he denies that the rules he set up don't work. Which they totally don't. So he sets up some more, and then I have to call Do at work to set them up on her PC. Because even at my completely inept level of computer knowledge, I still know more than that guy.
Anyway, that about brings us up to date on the "dog debacle" as I call it. And I pretty much wince when I see/hear/read anything about dogs right now. But I'm sure there will be more. Much more.
1 comment:
i feel like someone randomly picked you as the contact person for some reason.
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