Thursday, February 22, 2007

People are mean.

New message from someone in Chicago:

Re: IF YOU ALREADY FOUND A HOME FOR THE PUPS COULD YOU JUST SAY SO?

Because apparently, she could see that her message was deleted without being read today.

Like after the day I had I could let that go.

"COULD YOU MAYBE RESEARCH THIS ONLINE AND FIND OUT THIS LOOKS LIKE A HOAX BEFORE BARRAGING MY WORK EMAIL WITH USELESS EMAILS??????????"

I am really over the dog thing. I think it's time for a new job.

Do keeps reminding me to look at it from the point of view of the other person, who thinks that they are 1 of, say, 30 people asking about the dogs and it is rude for me to not answer. But they are 1 of 2000. And I really did try to think of it that way. But you don't send someone an email in all caps. It is NEVER acceptable.

come on!

Today I got 3 phone calls. One woman left me a message this morning, and then called back within about 2 hours. I let her know I knew nothing. She basically just repeated everything I said in disbelief.

"Yeah, that's the right Diane but I have NO idea how my name was associated with this. I know nothing about it."
"...you know nothing about it."
"No."
"...you don't know how your name was associated with this?"
"Nope."
"...but you are listed on the flyer."

[side note: WHO THE HELL MADE A FLYER?? Or is it flier? I don't know. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW. What matters is that there IS one. That SOMEONE made with ME on it.]

"I don't even know if this was ever real!"
"...you don't know if this is real?"
"No. And I got 2000 emails to my WORK email."
"...ok. Sorry to bother you."

Then the radio station emailed me back though saying they took me off their site. They were very nice, and said it is too bad and all that. Then I guess I'm off Craigslist Detroit, too. But it doesn't seem to be slowing down all that much. As of now, I got 130 emails today.

UPDATE! I just got an email from some woman that said "can you please just answer this before deleting it"
I went back to my deleted folder (which, we know, is done automatically) and saw that she did email me at 4:17. This latest email was from 4:53. So basically she was saying that it was rude of me to not answer her within 40 minutes? Because really, she can't know that she was deleted. People from Oklahoma can apparently be quite pushy!
So that one warranted a personalized response.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

dog update

So far today, I received 200 emails and 1 phone call about the labs. The caller was VERY nice. But I am still peeved about this whole thing. And then I keep getting people saying, "you shouldn't be sending that from work!" or "No good deed goes unpunished!" But see, I didn't try to do any kind of good deed. I didn't care about the dogs. I don't even particularly like dogs at all. I am not a good deed doer. I am a sit back and complainer. I feel like I just want to go buy a bottle of wine to take home with me. But wait! I can't comfortably go to the wine store. "clink, clink." I need to never go on "dates" with people that work at my favorite stores.

This is what my inbox/deleted items looks like.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Bed

I think I am ready to go into hibernation. Just sleep for a few weeks. Then get up and eat some honey.

Monday, February 19, 2007

post offices

So I am always bitching about post offices. It is really frustrating to be staring at someone who controls your mail and is totally vacant.

Not that ALL people at post offices suck. Just the ones at the PO near me. Just a few weeks ago I had to send 4 big boxes of books to Armenia.

(Long story sidebar here: I have a John [not John like in the prostitute sense, that is his name] in Armenia in the Peace Corps. He asked me if my company ever donates books. I went through a big ordeal in order to get books that were going to be thrown in the trash, and finally got them together to send to this other guy. Wait, this story really wasn't so long.)

So I spent some time finding out the best way to send things, and they have M-bags if you are sending books or journals or any publication. You can send 66 pounds in 1 bag, and it is just $66 dollars. Or something close to that. I go to the post office to pick them up one day.

"Hi, I have to send a bunch of books to Armenia, I think that M-bags are the best way..."
"....."
"OK, so does that make sense? Are they the best way to send this stuff?"
"..... What?"
"To send about 4 boxes all filled with books, they are about 25 pounds each. Do I do the M-bags?"
"....."
"Ok, so do you CARRY M-bags? I read that most post offices don't have them."
"yeah."
"Can I have them?"
"How many do you want?"
"4?"
[she walks away, with the speed of a dead snail.]

I stand there and wait a full 5 minutes. So my helpful friend returns with these giant sacks. They appear to be the stupidest idea ever: giant sacks for books/periodicals? Why? Who is going to lift that? Whatever, I take them.
At that point the woman next to me working at the PO, not even the woman helping me, turns around and says, "Just when are you going to mail those?"
"I guess tomorrow, maybe later in the wee-"
"Oh, 'cause I was gonna say, we are closing soon. Ha. As long as it ain't today."

I look up at the clock which reads 4:42. They close at 5. Apparently I can't mail my M-bags with only 20 minutes for them to figure out how to mail things.

(Another story side-note: I went to this same post office to mail John a package about a year before. I fill out all the international crap, customs forms, etc. I get up to the counter and the woman goes, "I thought you were sending this internationally."
I look blankly at her and say, "yeah..."
"Well, your package says it is going to AMERICA."
I check my own writing, making sure I didn't do it wrong.
"No, I'm sorry. That actually says ARMENIA."
"ARMENIA? WHAT?" She types it into her computer and up comes the name.
"Well, I never even heard of that! Hunh.")

Anyway, I take the bags and shove them in my car for another day. About a week later, I finally have the boxes packed and ready to go. Do comes to help me carry them to the post office, because they are heavy. We get there, and get up to the counter, boxes on a little cart and M-bags in hand. I had filled out most of the international shipping information, but really, isn't that stuff always confusing? So we make it to the lady. A different lady than I had the week before. She looks thrilled to be dealing with this at, again, 15 minutes to close. (I have a knack.)

I explain to her that I have the bags, but haven't yet put the boxes in. She looks at me, somewhat angrily. "It's not my job to put the boxes in the bags." Seriously? Do and I both try to explain that were we to put 2 boxes weighing about 30 pounds each in these bags, we would need to hire Hercules to come and then left it up to the counter height (which, being a shorty, is probably at about my shoulders). She rolls her eyes and says again that putting the boxes in the M-bags is not her job. After further arguing and claims of, "Well, if you want us to carry them around and back there, that is fine. Otherwise you will have to lift them up there yourself" she works on it. She then decides that only 1 box is allowed per bag. Not true, but financially it didn't matter. So we go with it. We get through all of this, and she ended up actually being nicer towards the end. I leave, and a few days later realize that in my haste (I get stressed rather easily) I didn't ask her to give me ANY of the shipping labels that the shipper gets to keep. All I have is a useless receipt showing that I paid $120 for stuff to be sent. So now I am just hoping that these things make it to the recipient. And really feeling peeved that these people have such control.

The day I started to hate dogs

So really, this whole story is the reason behind the blog. Because I think that the most absurd things happen to me. A lot.

Let's start at the very beginning. So I get an email at work to my work email from someone saying, "know anybody who wants to adopt these 2 labs?" I think "no." I was CC'd on it and it went to a few people. I did forward it to my friend Leigh to look at the pictures, and that is it. It went no further by my hand. So how am I now cursing these dogs, you ask?

I get 2 emails later that day with phone numbers of people interested. I thought that they just did a reply all and thought, "what a dumbass. Like I want to see this." If I only knew...

Well, the message was one that really went right for the heartstrings. I didn't see this until later when it was forwarded to me with a request for the dogs. It had been circulating with the following message, and 2 really cute pictures of the supposed dogs (see 1 example below):

2 Black Labs need home ASAP
The owner of these 2 beautiful labs has terminal cancer and can't care for them anymore. He is heartbroken and hopes to find a family for them while he is still able. These boys are 4 years old and have been raised together and he would like very much to find a home who can take them both so they can stay together.
Details: Two beautiful 4 year old purebred male Black Labs, Hunter and Fame, both neutered. They are truly wonderful dogs. The owner's grandchildren can crawl all over them and like a typical lab; they just lay there and love it. Both are up to date on their shots, housebroken and very well behaved. He would love to keep these two boys together if possible as they were raised together and are the best of friends. If you know anyone for these two pups or if you are interested in them, please contact
ME@mygoddamnworkemail.

The next day, I got 20. I realized that for some reason, I was listed as the main contact for anybody interested in adopting these dogs. They emails start coming in at a phenomenal rate. I am totally at a loss; what do I do? They were multiplying exponentially. Finally, I found out that the supposed dogs (I still doubt their existance, but Do is convinced they were just adopted on January 23) have been adopted. I compose a simple email I can copy and paste in all message I get. I am trying to head this thing off at the pass. Most people were very nice, one woman told me I was "an angel for trying to help those dogs and that poor man!"
One of the people I wrote back to I included the "I have no idea how this happened and spread so fast" sentence. And she said, "I know! I got it from 2 people AND saw it posted at church!" WHAT??

They start showing up hundreds at a time. My inbox never stops dinging. All day. After a week, I call the help desk. The guy didn't even see the humor in the whole thing. He was all, "Why would you use your work email to adopt out 2 dogs?" I kept saying, "I DON'T HAVE ANY DOGS! I KNOW NOTHING!" And still, his accusatory tone. Finally we try to set up rules. I kept saying, "But Entourage doesn't work properly with Macs." But he was sure it would work. Nothing. No improvement. I call my I.T. guy Monday and beg for help. (He, at least, has a sense of humor and is very nice.) We tried going to postini, trying to get more messages "quarantined." There was no way to set up rules about subject/text there. We could have changed the few options, but (luckily) I wasn't getting any sexually explicit, racially insensitive, or get rich quick dog emails. So it was no use to me. I asked, "but why are the rules not working? WHY?" And I got: "Because Entourage sucks. Everybody hates it. With our Macs, nothing works quite right with this program." Cool. No options.

I go home and inspiration hits me: I log into my Webmail from my PC (I know, I'm a user of both; I should feel shame). I set up the rules there. It seems to work! . . . But just a little. I am still getting about 1/5 of the emails that somehow sneak past the rules. Still better than before!
I set it up to send all of these messages straight to the deleted folder. Yes, I do feel guilty--but really, can you blame me for having my fill of this?? It was out of control!

Friday I go to lunch and am telling some friends the story. We laugh about it . . . then I get back to work and had TWO VOICE MAILS from dog people. Yes, voice mails. Not clear how. Not sure why. Not exactly sure who really has enough time to hunt somebody down for 2 dogs, but whatever. I guess some jobs are low-stress. Needless to say, I don't call back. The last thing I need to do after receiving over 1,000 non-work related emails at work is start making long-distance calls.

I talk to my boss, who finds this the most hilarious and horrific thing at the same time. She can't stop laughing (especially the bit about church), but agrees that I need a new work email.

My friends all look on the internet; I am posted on blogs, radio station web sites, a realtor's site, craigslist in CHICAGO-area (still not clear as to how almost all of these things are in the midwest; I am clearly not). It has grown far out of control, and is one of those things that will never stop. No date; touching story. I am screwed. In fact, there are several people out there from North Carolina, Colorado, and even more places that seem to have their emails listed for the SAME story.

I get in to work today and there, as the first email, is one about the dogs. Over the weekend I only got about 100; it seems to slow down when people aren't at work. Maybe 10 made it to my inbox. This one happens to be the first. So I happen to see it in the preview window.

"Re: Since you're not going to reply and neither are your friends who forwarded your message to other states"

I know I shouldn't have read it. I KNOW that I should have clicked them all straight to the deleted folder. But I have been dealing with this for TWO WEEKS and having some midwestern BITCH give me attitude was the last straw. So I read on.

"You might want to add what state you're in when advertising something over email and sending it to friends who don't use discretion about who they're sending it to. I continue to get phone calls about these dogs, and I'm in INDIANA!!! I'm sure your ad is STILL being forwarded around."

Am I just being sensitive? I mean, first-thing on Monday morning to see this after two weeks of pure FUCKING HELL about these dogs probably wasn't a good combination. I don't like Mondays as it is. I didn't want to wake up on President's Day, when most of my friends and family were on vacation. And I come in to that? Hmm. I decide to just go to the kitchen for my coffee. Maybe I just need the coffee. Maybe I can take some deep breaths and calm down. But no; I get more agitated the more I think about this. Giving ME attitude? Seriously? So I answer:

"I have nothing to do with this. This is NOT MY AD. Some idiot put my WORK EMAIL as the main contact when I was only CC'd on it. So maybe YOU may want to do some online research before sending a nasty email about not responding. It took me 2 seconds to look on google and see that this has happened all over the country with different emails. Apparently you were after the initial FIVE HUNDRED responses, which I did answer.
I'm sure it's STILL being forwarded too, and have to change my work email address because of this. But it's always nice to see emails like this when I get in on Monday morning."

I feel a little better; and yet, unreasonable. Why do I feel so guilty about not just taking it anymore? Not sure; maybe that is for another day's blog and much more therapy. But I do feel bad. But I think this is the woman who left me a voice mail. Not that I really listened to the whole thing; I deleted it and stared at my phone in horror, picturing what happened with the email happening with the phone. (And my company is too cheap to give me a phone with caller ID.) But she emails me, leaves me a message about how I'm not calling back, and THEN sends me this (what I deem to be) nasty email? I couldn't just take it!

So now I'm the dog bitch. The one who doesn't give a shit that some poor fool is dying of cancer and just wants to find a new home for these animals. I am the evil girl in New York who is destroying any chance of them finding a new home. (Except that they already did . . . if they ever even existed.)

I go back to my boss and say, "please, can we change my email today? I can't handle all this." She calls the help desk, and we get the nasty guy again. He not only gives her attitude, he denies that the rules he set up don't work. Which they totally don't. So he sets up some more, and then I have to call Do at work to set them up on her PC. Because even at my completely inept level of computer knowledge, I still know more than that guy.

Anyway, that about brings us up to date on the "dog debacle" as I call it. And I pretty much wince when I see/hear/read anything about dogs right now. But I'm sure there will be more. Much more.

Why I have a blog

The weirdest problems always seem to happen to me. And I end up retelling the story a ton of times. So here, I will just put all my life events.